I’ll skip the boring details and get straight to the point – someone needs to show this man the way to properly kiss a woman.
What is it with the first few weeks in a relationship being incredibly awkward? Can’t we just skip to the part where its okay to give a little back draft and laugh about it instead of getting all red-faced? Or to the part where instead of slowly and unsuccessfully hinting at the fact you want to bone tonight, you just straight up say you’re up for bumping uglies?
Unfortunately, I am especially incapable of being straightforward and honest and my uninhibited self until at least a few months into the relationship – and so is this guy I’ve been dating.
First two weeks, strictly side hugs. When we watched a movie, he’d sit clear across the room. Literally. So, the science side of me kicked in and I did a little research (and by little, I mean I read through articles for hours). Turns out it’s a German thing. And this guy is full blown, heavy accent German.
I know what you’re thinking. A German – shy? I was surprised too. But have you ever wondered why German women are so forward? You can thank the absolute shyness of most German men for this, or else the timidity of the male personality would completely disable them from having the courage to reproduce (exaggeration, if you wish).
This goes completely against the American southern culture in which I was raised. I’m completely fine with making the first move (hell, it was me who approached him & gave him my number), but nevertheless, I don’t usually have to make the first move.
Regardless, a few weeks after the side hug got a little old, he finally kissed me. But it was a peck – as in I am five years old and the boy down the street just pecked me on the lips. Wanting a little more, I initiated the next few kisses, but still… just a peck.
I was growing mad.
This man, this wonderful and attractive German man, who’s smell drove me absolutely insane and had me thinking impure thoughts, would not for the life of me, kiss me properly.
And by proper I mean full on, unexpected, lip-smacking, heat intensive, kissin’.
Again, I was growing mad. Like Alice In Wonderland kind of mad.
If ever given the chance, I would definitely deepen the kiss – but he pulls away before I even register what had happened! I can’t help but wonder… is this his first go around the block of kissing city? Time will only tell.
Until then, I’ll keep my sanity by avoiding thinking about how his wonderful smell lingers and just how kissable his lips look….
Keep my sexual frustrations in your prayers.
MaybeWild.
maybewild.wordpress.com 