Future – A Millennial’s Most Hated Word

The future – something it seems everyone is obsessed about.

Before we can hardly even speak, we are already being asked what we want to be when we grow up.

Freshman year of high school and we are already expected to have an idea of what college we want to attend.

The first year of college and we are expected to already know where we want to live, who we may want to marry, what specific job we want, are we getting a master’s? Do we want kids (for Christ’s sake, I’m not even dating anyone yet)?

Instead of ever fully appreciating the life we are living in the present, we are already expected to know how life is going to be years in advance. Do I really want to look back on my life and realize I had forgotten to ever truly appreciate it the entire time? In hindsight, everything always seems clearer and more beautiful but I really don’t want to live a life that way. I want to see the beauty of life now. 

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem society is built that way. Of course, there is value in thinking and planning ahead; but not so much that we are living our lives with only the future in mind. When we were younger we were taught to appreciate what we have, but as we grew older it seemed that the focus became more on what we don’t. It seems that we are in constant pursuit of the next item on the list, the next thing to buy, the next goal to meet.

When was the last time you appreciated what you have now, the beauty around you now? 

I challenge myself and the rest of you to spend this next week less focused on what you have tomorrow or even years ahead and more on the thing happening to you at that very moment. Every time I do this, I fall more in love with the world around me than I already am now. Defy what society is pressuring of you and live for yourself and the present. Live for what you love now, not what you think you will love years in advance. You do not want to be at the end of your life and realize you spent the entirety of it in pursuit of something rather than enjoying what you already had.

Send me your thoughts and comments on this. I’d love to hear your feedback on how this challenge helped you or gained you some kind of insight.

MaybeWild

Does Love Change?

My big question of the week, and one that has been haunting me for about a year now… Will I ever love someone the way I did the first time I fell in love?

This love… it was intensive. Consuming. It was an emotion that I felt so physically – right in my chest every time I looked at him. I wanted to know every detail about him; I wanted to make him happy for the rest of my days. His laugh made my day; his happiness was hard to achieve but rewarding nonetheless.

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him – the old him, the one I fell in love with. But it ended and it broke my heart and I’m still angry. But in a way, I know I will always love him. I think. And that leads to another big question…. will I? Or will he eventually become a distant memory and only be slightly bittersweet?

My inexperience with this gives me a little bit of hope, but also a whole lot more of fear. Will I ever love someone like this again, or was that the one and it just didn’t work out?

It’s scary, me dating other guys and never being able to find that feeling again. Will that rush of infatuation ever be felt? Will I ever be open enough to even be capable of feeling that love again?

So many questions and ones I can only truly find the answers to through my very own experiences.

Wish me some luck.

MaybeWild

 

 

The Proper Way to Kiss a Woman

I’ll skip the boring details and get straight to the point – someone needs to show this man the way to properly kiss a woman.

What is it with the first few weeks in a relationship being incredibly awkward? Can’t we just skip to the part where its okay to give a little back draft and laugh about it instead of getting all red-faced? Or to the part where instead of slowly and unsuccessfully hinting at the fact you want to bone tonight, you just straight up say you’re up for bumping uglies?

Unfortunately, I am especially incapable of being straightforward and honest and my uninhibited self until at least a few months into the relationship – and so is this guy I’ve been dating.

First two weeks, strictly side hugs. When we watched a movie, he’d sit clear across the room. Literally. So, the science side of me kicked in and I did a little research (and by little, I mean I read through articles for hours). Turns out it’s a German thing. And this guy is full blown, heavy accent German. 

I know what you’re thinking. A German – shy?  I was surprised too. But have you ever wondered why German women are so forward? You can thank the absolute shyness of most German men for this, or else the timidity of the male personality would completely disable them from having the courage to reproduce (exaggeration, if you wish).

This goes completely against the American southern culture in which I was raised. I’m completely fine with making the first move (hell, it was me who approached him & gave him my number), but nevertheless, I don’t usually have to make the first move.

Regardless, a few weeks after the side hug got a little old, he finally kissed me. But it was a peck – as in I am five years old and the boy down the street just pecked me on the lips. Wanting a little more, I initiated the next few kisses, but still… just a peck.

I was growing mad.

This man, this wonderful and attractive German man, who’s smell drove me absolutely insane and had me thinking impure thoughts, would not for the life of me, kiss me properly.

And by proper I mean full on, unexpected, lip-smacking, heat intensive, kissin’.

Again, I was growing mad. Like Alice In Wonderland kind of mad.

If ever given the chance, I would definitely deepen the kiss – but he pulls away before I even register what had happened! I can’t help but wonder… is this his first go around the block of kissing city? Time will only tell.

Until then, I’ll keep my sanity by avoiding thinking about how his wonderful smell lingers and just how kissable his lips look….

Keep my sexual frustrations in your prayers.

MaybeWild.

First Post – A New Beginning?

I feel like my first blog post should say something utterly profound.

 

Unfortunately, I am at a loss for words. Should I share with my audience my weekly happenings? Yeah, sure, let’s start there. There has got to be something profound to be discovered in my actions of the week – which was literally nothing. 

 

I barely managed to make it to class, if I made it at all. The majority of my time was spent in bed watching Shameless and feeling sorry for myself. In fact, at one point I got up and looked out my dormitory window and thought, “Wow. Look at all of those people doing productive things” and then I proceeded to crawl back into bed and watch 5 more episodes of Shameless. (You would think that show would inspire me to be productive so I don’t end up like them…. it didn’t).

 

Nevertheless, it’s Thirsty Thursday and I found the motivation to make some special plans with a friend (be proud, I am getting out of the room for something other than food).

 

Maybe I shouldn’t brag about my particular laziness this week. I swear I’m not always like this (I know what you’re thinking… how many other nineteen-year-olds have said the same exact thing?). But I promise I’m really not. Most of the time I like to think myself a successful college student… and you can define successful anyway you like it. I’m also pretty involved in my campus (let’s not include this past week, alright?). 

 

I can’t tell you what this blog will entail other than the thoughts of an introvert that really really needs to get out. I’ll go ahead and apologize for my affinity for commas and parenthesis (but seriously, how could you not use them?). No, I will not cut them out, the little bastards have so much character. 

 

Farewell, my friends. For you may ever be wild.